Recently I came out of a four-year relationship, which was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. To just walk away from someone who I had spent a very big part of my life with.
I was 17 years old when we met, so I was still finding myself. I didn’t really know what I wanted from life or where I wanted to go. We had amazing times together and I will never forget the memories we share, however there comes a point where you change as a person.
I can honestly say that I am completely different to the 17 year old I once was, my views towards life and goals are the complete opposite to what they used to be.
A lot of relationships become convenient; I am not saying that my past relationship was just based on convenience but I am sure it played a big part. This then takes over the necessary traits that form a healthy relationship such as; trust, encouragement and being supportive. Just physically being there for someone isn’t enough and this is where people go wrong. The majority of people will stay in a relationship with someone just because they feel comfortable and it is an easier option.
We have all held onto someone in our lives who wasn’t worthy of our attention, someone who just takes but gives nothing back in return, someone who spends more time putting us down then lifting us up.
When I spoke to people about my reasons for ending things with my ex they thought I was mad… “Why would you break up when everything is so easy between you”? And that’s just it. Easy isn’t always good, as human beings we are so quick to fall into comfort zones and we get terrified if we have to take a risk. However if a relationship is draining your life then it is perfectly acceptable to walk away. You owe it to yourself.
Moving on is so difficult and scary, I remember lying awake at night thinking I’m going to be single forever. However it has made me so much stronger, it has given me the ability to do things I have always wanted to do but would’ve never had the chance. It gives you opportunity to start anew and over the past few months I have really got to know myself more then I ever have done.
It takes two people to make a strong relationship and I will be the first to admit that I was not perfect either. Each person has to add value to the relationship. It is not just about buying flowers after an argument. It is about trying hard to lift the other person’s spirits and to help each other grow as human beings. Life is too short to just be comfortable and unhappy.
Starting a new relationship is difficult and requires work… but anything worth holding onto does.