If you are unfamiliar of the word ghosting, like I was until quite recently. Allow Urban dictionary to explain.
When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You’ll mostly see them avoiding friend’s phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.
“I haven’t seen Tom in 3 months. I think he may be ghosting me.”
I want to begin this blog by empathising just how terrible an act ghosting really is.
It takes two minutes to tell someone how you feel. Two minutes to write a message to say, “Listen I am no longer interested.”
Ghosting is not only cowardly but it is also selfish.
The truth is most of the time the person you are ignoring or trying to “fizzle out,” probably doesn’t care that much that you are doing so. In fact they are about to realise that they have made a lucky escape, from someone who does not take the time to value other peoples feelings. But what that person will value most is honesty. Then they can move on with their lives.
I have spoken to a few people about this recently, and the situation always seems to be the same. He/she went from 100 – 0 over night. We messaged everyday and then one day… nothing. Just like a light switch, the conversation ended. And we are all left wondering…
Did I do something wrong?
Did he get back with an ex?
Is he dead?
He better be dead…
No body deserves to be left in the dark. It heightens our anxieties making us feel like we did something terrible, and we are the issue. When the majority of the time we are not. Peoples circumstances and emotions change, that’s just the way life goes. But the right thing to do is to be open and honest and let the person know.
And the same goes for you too. Just because someone ghosts you, does not mean you can do the same thing to someone else. You do not deserve to ghost someone, or make them feel irrelevant, even if it’s just for a small period of time.
Do not “fizzle” things out either. If you are no longer interested, tell them.
Do not allow someone to hold onto something that isn’t there.
Do not drag someone along your bumpy road just in case one day you need them for a back up plan.
Respect and think about other peoples feelings, because one day it maybe you on the receiving line.
Ghosting may now be the norm. But it will never be ok.