I don’t know when I will love again, or if I ever will. I know for sure that my journey at the moment is not fixated on romantic connections, but more about the friendships I am making with others, and the love I am building towards myself.
The truth is I am trying to figure out whether or not I want or even need to be romantically involved with someone. I am aware that I can take great care of myself, and the truth is I do not need another half to make me whole because I am incredibly capable of being alone. Could it be that I am just nervous about opening myself and my heart again to people that do not value it?
I tend to give my whole self in every relationship, I do everything I can to make that other person happy, and through this, I lose parts of myself along the way. I am my happiest self when I am not being relied on, and am not committed to someone else. Maybe I am scared of commitment, or perhaps we do not all have to commit in the way society wants us to.
I have spent a lot of time recently questioning if as human beings, should we give our whole selves to just one other person, or can we find deeper connections within multiple people? Is monogamy healthy, or could this hinder our growth and detach us from ourselves?
I am aware and have been throughout my whole dating life that I am not my best self in a relationship. It is not that I feel the need to sleep with more than one person at one time; however, I have never found what I am looking for in just one being.
I firmly believe that our souls attract other souls for many different reasons, and I want to explore this more in-depth.
Potentially, I am just not ready for a monogamous relationship, or maybe I am evolving amidst this beautiful world.
Polyamorous, open relationship, greedy? Call it what you like, but what if we washed away all the labels and allowed our souls and hearts to dance with the other beings we meet, without questioning what may be in the future. What if we removed ownership and magnetise what we need from individual beings, and realise that sometimes it is not healthy to rely solely on a person to provide you with all the ingredients we need to a happy life.
It is not about having your cake and eating it, neither being able to cheat, but why should we shy away from something incredible when life is so short?
One’s ego feeds jealousy, and mistrust usually comes down to insecurities. So if we allow ourselves the freedom of free love, would we build deeper connections, be more respectful and communicate better?
I don’t know if I will ever love again, but my heart is open, and my love is free.