Happy New Year, everyone. I hope you had a remarkable festive period and managed to celebrate to the best of your ability. As we finally see the back of 2020, I have reflected on the good this year brought me and the lessons I have learnt. Like many, I had a lot of time to reflect over 2020, and I came up with a list of life lessons I want to share for you to remember this year.
1. The wound is not your fault, but the healing is your responsibility.
What people did to you, how they hurt you or the horrible words they used against you is not your fault, and you cannot change the past. However, you are responsible for how you react and move on. Realise that you are not a product of your past circumstances and let go. It may be easier said than done, but you owe it to yourself and healing process.
2. Do not chase after people.
Do not chase after people in your life who do not want to be there. Please do not do things to try and make them stick around when you know deep down; you waste your time and energy. People who want to be in your life will stay and put as much effort in as you do. Let those who no longer wish to be there, slip through your fingers.
3. Always trust your gut instinct.
We all have one. It lies in the pit of your stomach and more often than not will give you the right answer, to anything you need to know. I’m not speaking literally of course, but I’m sure you’ve all felt that sinking feeling when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be. That is your gut instinct or intuition, and it is your immediate understanding of something. Trusting your gut is trusting yourself.
4. Stop asking if you are good enough for others.
Stop wondering whether they love you or if you make them happy and focus on whether you love them and if they are good enough for you. Not everyone is going to like you, but you won’t like everyone. Don’t waste your time trying to be liked by someone; you may not even like.
5. “No” is a full sentence.
Learn how to say no to things you do not want to do. It is much easier than you think. You should never feel bad for saying no or honouring your boundaries. You should not have to give excuses as to why you are saying no either. NO means NO, it is a full sentence.
6. Learn to walk away.
If someone makes you feel bad about yourself and does not positively impact your life, walk away. Do not suffer because of someone else. Someone else’s insecurities are you your problem, and usually, the hurtful things they say are just a reflection of the way they feel about themselves. But equally do not rub your insecurities off on someone else.
7. Do not be defined by your past mistakes.
Use your past mistakes as a guide and a lesson towards a better future. Do not let your past define you. We all make mistakes; it is inevitable. How we move on from them is what matters, do not allow them to hold you back.
8. Choose kindness.
Choose to respond with love and kindness. You do not know what someone is going through. And if you cannot respond with compassion, then walk away and do not react at all. You will always feel better when being kind.
9. Make sure you are responding to the present moment.
We all have a past; some may call it “baggage”. However, it is important to realise your response to things is a reaction from what is happening in this present moment, rather than a past situation that the current one reminds you of.
10. Be comfortable on your own.
This is such an important lesson. Being alone should not make you feel lonely if you are comfortable within yourself. Do not expect others to always be there for you. We create our heartbreaks through expectations, so learn the importance of being able to stand alone.